Your Baby is crying in the carrier? You think your baby hates the carrier? But you want to use the carrier because either you heard of all the benefits of babywearing or you need to have the hands free?
Let‘s look at what is normal for human infants first.
Human infants are clingers. They still have the same reflexes like other clinging mammals. Examples are the koala (passive clinger) or monkeys/apes (active clingers). Their hands are made to cling on adult individuals by grabbing their fur, and being transported by their mothers or relatives.
This has indeed many advantages, in regards of safety as in regards of development. Humans are active clingers.
Being clingers also means that babies naturally want to be carried.
If you have a baby that is crying in the carrier, I am sure that to around 98% your baby likes to be hold in your arms and is not crying in this position.
When only crying in the carrier, you will naturally blame it and say that your baby hates the carrier.
So let‘s see why your baby is crying in the carrier and what we can do!
Some reasons are easy to rule out. Let’s start with these.
Elemental needs
Your baby is feeling uncomfortable because the diaper is full, s/he needs to poop or pee, is hungry, or too tired.
Give your baby the chance to poop or pee before using the carrier. Change the diaper even if it’s still not full. Feed your baby and wait a few minutes. A full tummy in a carrier can (but don’t must) result in a milk spill. And try to put your baby in the carrier before s/he is extremely tired.
Sensing insecurities
If none of these is the reason because you made sure to eliminate them all but your baby is still crying, it can be that s/he senses your insecurities.
Especially if you are a beginner and don’t feel comfortable with putting your baby in the carrier yet, your baby might sense it.
Babies have very good antennas. When you are feeling save and comfortable, your baby will feel safe too and is more relaxed.
Practicing babywearing with a stuffed toy or a bag of flour will help you remembering the steps and feeling more comfortable putting the carrier on.
It can also help to put the carrier on while your baby is crying and then immediately start to move, for example going for a walk. If your baby was feeling insecure because you weren’t calm, s/he will eventually stop crying when you are moving and becoming more relaxed yourself. Your baby should stop crying in the first few minutes of walking.
Carrying comes with a learning curve!
Babywearing is nothing that you just start and is easy from the beginning. It’s not a natural skill we have. It always comes with a learning curve and practice!
If you are not a beginner or feeling completely relaxed while putting your baby in the carrier but your baby is still crying, we have to dig deeper!
Discomfort
Sometimes, babies won’t feel well because of their clothes. If it’s the diaper that’s too small, or you used too many layers and baby is feeling too hot, or your clothes don’t feel nice or have an unpleasant smell…
Make sure, if you use a onesie with feet, that there is enough space for the legs. When using one for carrying, it should be one size up to give the feet enough room.
I have a small online course about carrying (and dressing your baby) in the different seasons. You can find it on my courses platform courses.moinmoinbaby.com
However, not always is it one of these easy-to-eliminate-reasons. Sometimes, it’s more difficult and everyone has to decide if it is worth the work and money that might be needed to stop your baby from crying in the carrier.
A good bond without carrying is possible!
If you have a lot of body contact, preferably skin to skin, during the day, and you and your baby are also perfectly fine with using the stroller for outings, you might just want to stop using the carrier.
This is your decision and it is also totally ok!
While babywearing has many advantages, it is not necessary to create a good bond between baby and caregiver.
After clarifying this, we can get to the more annoying reasons why your baby cries in the carrier.. Annoying because you need to put more work and money into these..
The carrier doesn’t fit
Sometimes, it’s because your baby doesn’t like this specific carrier or wasn’t positioned correctly in it.
Trying different carriers can already help!
Seeing an osteopath
Many babies (and mothers) suffer blockages after birth. This is a term from osteopathy. If you are from France (or Germany/Switzerland) you will probably heard of this. In other countries it’s not much of a thing but it can really help!
After birth, many babies have blockages in the neck area and if a baby carrier puts pressure on there (which is to a degree necessary to support the head) your baby feels uncomfortable and cries.
One carrier that is famous for working for crying babies, also those with blockages, is the Bondolino from Hoppediz. This is also the reason why you can find this carrier in my shop!
But of course, visiting an osteopath in this case, would be the best. There are some in Tokyo and you can get in touch if you need a recommendation!
Birth trauma and disorders
The last things to mention, and the hardest to solve, are the birth trauma or a developmental disorder like autism.
Some babies won’t tolerate anything wrapped around them when they had a traumatic birth experience. This can, for example, be something like being stuck for a long time in the birth channel with or without emergency c-section.
If your baby also dislikes the swaddle or being hold very close and firm in arms, it can be a sign, but it don’t have to.
Autistic children often (not always) also don’t like being close to anyone. Here, you will probably also have a baby who doesn’t like to be hugged, hold in arms, and so on.
But there can be solutions for both!
Best would be to consult with a babywearing consultant in these cases to working with you!
Sometimes though, a baby just needs to cry everything out. The big wide world is still new with so many new impressions. Baby’s brain isn’t yet developed in a way that it can process so many impressions well. When baby feels safe, s/he just lets everything out and cries. You probably know this from yourself. When everything became too much and you cried a lot, you will feel much better afterwards. It’s a form of releasing stress. It is the same for babies.
So if your baby is crying in the carrier (or in your arms) and nothing helps, don’t worry! Be there for your baby and hold her. Tell your baby you are there and listening. It’s completely normal and ok!
I am looking forward to your comments if this article helped you with your crying baby!
